[congratulations!! but also. buzen is just laughing at that, amused]
I dunno if how I'm doing is my secret... I think I can answer that pretty freely. Which is that I'm a little confused, and kinda worried... but I'm still sure everything will work out.
We can still exchange secrets if you want though, Va-san.
[he looks a little confused, as if it didn't really occur to him to think of others that way....
but at the question, he nods.]
Mm... Matsui thinks of me as someone safe for him, and I am. I try to be with him whenever I can, even when things are hard. But... I don't push him to look at those difficult times. Even though I'm someone who thinks that there are certain problems that are better to face, than to run away from.
[ . . . ]
But I don't know how to help him face those troubles, especially when it seems like it hurts him really bad when he tries. So I wonder if... maybe I'm not doing the right thing for him, after all.
Yuuuuup. A lot of people. Don't worry about it until it becomes your problem.
[ Vash being like let's try to focus on MATSUI. Vash is quiet as Buzen explains and there are so many answers to this. It's very complicated, intricate, and Vash knows there are many things he can say here...
I don't think that's something you have complete control over.
[ But he doesn't know a lot about their dynamic and relationship. In the end, it's difficult to stop someone from leaving. Vash says is more like fact than anything, like someone experienced with it. ]
It sounds like you care about him a lot, but you're stuck between wanting better for him or wanting to provide him a haven. [ THIS IS ROUGH, BUDDY. ] ... As you are experiencing, it's sometimes hard to provide everything for a person.
Have you considered that it doesn't have to be you? Like the responsibility doesn't need to be shouldered by you alone.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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and he'll just look over to vash and put on a grin - ]
You can say that again... How were the... balls?
[???? he didn't really catch what was happening there]
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[ And they don't just have random balls in their warehouse. ]
... Uhm... Things going okay... With you? I don't know if that will count for your secret or not, but we can exchange.
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[congratulations!! but also. buzen is just laughing at that, amused]
I dunno if how I'm doing is my secret... I think I can answer that pretty freely. Which is that I'm a little confused, and kinda worried... but I'm still sure everything will work out.
We can still exchange secrets if you want though, Va-san.
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I'm sure it'll be fine, but if you want someone to hear you out I'd lend an ear.
[ Small offer. ]
I think we should! It's a great way to get to know people.
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Thanks.
[he's appreciative, since he's normally the one offering]
But haha, I agree with you. Then do you want me to go first, Va-san? Or if there's a secret you're dying to share, promise it won't leave you and me.
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[ Jazz hands. ]
Set the mood!
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[and he'll glance back out over the horizon, his gaze falls out toward where the cathedral is.]
I haven't admitted it to anybody but... sometimes, I think that I'm bad for Matsu.
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[ HELP? ]
What do you mean by that?
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I think...
[he pauses thoughtfully, trying to figure out how to word it]
Have you ever met someone who wants something that you think might be bad for them, Va-san? Like... how do I put this -
Like you want to save them from themselves a little? But you know that they only act that way because they're actually really kind...
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[ He can come up with a make or two. It's a rough place to be to see people cause their own suffering. ]
So you're saying that's Matsui? And while you want to save him from himself a little, you don't...
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[he looks a little confused, as if it didn't really occur to him to think of others that way....
but at the question, he nods.]
Mm... Matsui thinks of me as someone safe for him, and I am. I try to be with him whenever I can, even when things are hard. But... I don't push him to look at those difficult times. Even though I'm someone who thinks that there are certain problems that are better to face, than to run away from.
[ . . . ]
But I don't know how to help him face those troubles, especially when it seems like it hurts him really bad when he tries. So I wonder if... maybe I'm not doing the right thing for him, after all.
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[ Vash being like let's try to focus on MATSUI. Vash is quiet as Buzen explains and there are so many answers to this. It's very complicated, intricate, and Vash knows there are many things he can say here...
But firstly: ]
Well, Buzen, what do you actually want to do?
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The question is a good one, and it makes Buzen tilt his head.]
"Actually"...?
Mm... I don't know. I guess I just don't want Matsu to leave me.
[he is fairly simple, at the end of the day. but also there are so, so many ways in which matsui could possibly leave him. shoots the cyoa]
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[ But he doesn't know a lot about their dynamic and relationship. In the end, it's difficult to stop someone from leaving. Vash says is more like fact than anything, like someone experienced with it. ]
It sounds like you care about him a lot, but you're stuck between wanting better for him or wanting to provide him a haven. [ THIS IS ROUGH, BUDDY. ] ... As you are experiencing, it's sometimes hard to provide everything for a person.
Have you considered that it doesn't have to be you? Like the responsibility doesn't need to be shouldered by you alone.