[ she shakes her head. then she takes one of his hands in both of hers. ] Sometimes things just don't work out the way we want. [ this is some serious bummer territory for her but she is still pushing on: ] He decided what was best for me, even after I told him how I felt. He took away my choice. Don't do the same thing he did.
[ Somehow he holds it together. He understands, in that respect... Nahri deserves to be able to choose her own path. He knows—he has let humans make their choices, but.
When those choices involve him. ]
... But I'm a monster.
[ It's different because he's not like humans, not even a nice and well-behaved other being. No, he's a monster. ]
Listen. I've had enough of you - all of you - on this team dwelling on the inhuman parts of yourself, or whatever problems you think make you less than human. [ what a time to say this during insecurity week, but this has existed beyond this week, so. ] It's not a good enough excuse to decide how Wolfwood should feel about you, or how anyone should feel about you.
I can't fix whatever it is about yourself that you don't like. But don't for one damn minute think I'm going to let you sit here and act like you're the worst person here. Don't you want to do better? You can do better.
[ For so long, he has been trying to atone and repent for his sins (catholic), but Nahri really is here with a team that's so focused on their inhuman parts, except Vash truly doesn't see any human in him. Especially now, he is being reminded of how different he is.
Damn, he doesn't feel like he deserves her kind words or her comfort. ]
But it doesn't change how much blood is on my hands. [ ... ] If you knew, you'd want me gone, too.
[ And he does want to be gone. He wishes he could disappear from the plane of existence. He wishes everyone would forget him. NAHRI DOESN'T DESERVE THIS, but he really is having a breakdown because of insecurities. ]
[ she's a little sad-looking, maybe, but she tries to keep an even composure. ]
I just want you to know that you don't have to be that person. It- It doesn't change what happened, I know, and I'm sorry for-- for whatever happened. But you're not the monster that you think you are. I don't think... you want to be one. So you don't have to be.
[ Vash has more of his composure than before, now a little ashamed to have lost it in front of her. There are more thoughts, but he keeps them to himself.
His hand which is fretfully taken by hers decides to hold on with a firm grip, some confidence renewed. He doesn't know if those are the words he deserves to hear, but they're for him right now.
He can try to respect that. ]
Thank you... And I'm sorry to hear about him and what he did to you.
[ It does make him reconsider his love arrows on Wolfwood and Shenhe, if only a bit. ]
You know that Wolfwood has smacked me with his cross before, right?!
[ YOU ARE JUST LEAVING HIM TO DIE, but that's right for her... And honestly he's just being overdramatic, which she can probably pick up on by how he places a hand on his chest. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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When those choices involve him. ]
... But I'm a monster.
[ It's different because he's not like humans, not even a nice and well-behaved other being. No, he's a monster. ]
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[ you will NOT pity party when she is pity partying. it is a party of one and she's already here!!! STOP ]
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that worked.
anyway. ]
Listen. I've had enough of you - all of you - on this team dwelling on the inhuman parts of yourself, or whatever problems you think make you less than human. [ what a time to say this during insecurity week, but this has existed beyond this week, so. ] It's not a good enough excuse to decide how Wolfwood should feel about you, or how anyone should feel about you.
I can't fix whatever it is about yourself that you don't like. But don't for one damn minute think I'm going to let you sit here and act like you're the worst person here. Don't you want to do better? You can do better.
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[ For so long, he has been trying to atone and repent for his sins (catholic), but Nahri really is here with a team that's so focused on their inhuman parts, except Vash truly doesn't see any human in him. Especially now, he is being reminded of how different he is.
Damn, he doesn't feel like he deserves her kind words or her comfort. ]
But it doesn't change how much blood is on my hands. [ ... ] If you knew, you'd want me gone, too.
[ And he does want to be gone. He wishes he could disappear from the plane of existence. He wishes everyone would forget him. NAHRI DOESN'T DESERVE THIS, but he really is having a breakdown because of insecurities. ]
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The man I loved killed thousands of people.
[ sorry, vash, this isn't going to work on her. ]
Is that something you feel guilty about? Is that something you want to atone for?
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Then it dawns on him how odd this is, how uncomfortable he feels in the midst of anxiety and guilt. He never would have wanted people to know. ]
I'm not sure what's gotten into me.
[ ... ]
You ended up sharing something personal to console me... Really, I'm sorry.
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It's okay.
[ she's a little sad-looking, maybe, but she tries to keep an even composure. ]
I just want you to know that you don't have to be that person. It- It doesn't change what happened, I know, and I'm sorry for-- for whatever happened. But you're not the monster that you think you are. I don't think... you want to be one. So you don't have to be.
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His hand which is fretfully taken by hers decides to hold on with a firm grip, some confidence renewed. He doesn't know if those are the words he deserves to hear, but they're for him right now.
He can try to respect that. ]
Thank you... And I'm sorry to hear about him and what he did to you.
[ It does make him reconsider his love arrows on Wolfwood and Shenhe, if only a bit. ]
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I'll survive. I want you too as well.
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I don't know if I will when the team psych expires.
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Whatever happens between you and Wolfwood is in the hands of God.
[ yeah i made this joke earlier but SHE MEANS IT FOR REAL ]
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[ HELP ]
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[ YOU ARE JUST LEAVING HIM TO DIE, but that's right for her... And honestly he's just being overdramatic, which she can probably pick up on by how he places a hand on his chest. ]
How I survived back then was a miracle!
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yeah she's not buying into this. ]
Well, then you should have learned from before. And you survived that! And this time you can get far away very quickly, so you have an advantage.
[...]
And I'll heal you, if you need it.
[ SHE REALLY IS JUST LEAVING HIM LIKE THAT ]
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How do I keep getting into these messes... What's wrong with me?