[ she probably did. nahri can only hope that she did. it's going to be something that's going to sit in her heart forever, for not being able to make sure. ]
I don't want to be anymore.
[ if she weren't caught in another wave of grief, she'd have some comment about how she isn't full of love, not really, not any more than the average person. just like everyone else, all she wants is to belong somewhere. whether that is a physical place or with someone - or a group of people - she'll take it. anything. something to keep her from feeling adrift.
she could keep trying but, it's hard when the bonds she tries to curate get forcefully severed as they have. unfortunately, she still cares. she still cares about her team, she cares about the friends she's made here. lashing out now is just a stupid, sabotaging way of trying to cope with just how much she cares. ]
[ Unfortunately, Vash has seen too many people hold back love, but he doesn't blame them. Humans are only trying to survive out in the rough galaxy, whether they live in a first world country or in a hellhole. With no blame there, he likewise doesn't chide or scold her for choosing to cope this way, to wish she was something she wasn't. Also, he's too insecure for that, anyway. ]
... It's not going to get easier and we can't shut off our hearts in a snap.
[ Vash isn't going to sugarcoat it. It can only get worse from here as the body count increases. ]
You can do what you want to protect yourself, but Wolfwood and I will be beside you for as long as we can. I'll just hope that you don't regret loving Shenhe and letting others in... And whenever you are ready, we can meet you halfway again.
[ Because he knows that everyone needs time to lament, to mourn, and to heal. A promise to try to be there for when she's ready is all he can offer. ]
[ the way he delivers the truth is effective. she doesn't need - or want - things sugercoated for her. she'd be insulted to be coddled, sheltered, protected from reality when she's already spent her entire life clawing for her survival. she doesn't need anything softened for her. ]
It's just hard, Vash.
[ the crying has slowed considerably, and she lowers her hands from her face. and she leans against him, so now he's stuck here. ]
I was alone for so long, I didn't know that it'd feel like this. [ sniffle. ] I don't want you or Wolfwood to go either. I don't even know what halfway is.
[ it feels like all or nothing. here one day, gone the next. ]
[ He lets her lean against him and stays nested here, having no plans to leave until they need to send off their newly departed. ]
I know it's hard. [ Loss. Familiar, yet it makes itself new again. ] Halfway can be just trying, like Shenhe did.
[ All he asks is that she doesn't forsake love, for it is never a mistake to love. No one is foolish for it... And he hopes that she can swing back, be herself. ]
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no subject
I don't want to be anymore.
[ if she weren't caught in another wave of grief, she'd have some comment about how she isn't full of love, not really, not any more than the average person. just like everyone else, all she wants is to belong somewhere. whether that is a physical place or with someone - or a group of people - she'll take it. anything. something to keep her from feeling adrift.
she could keep trying but, it's hard when the bonds she tries to curate get forcefully severed as they have. unfortunately, she still cares. she still cares about her team, she cares about the friends she's made here. lashing out now is just a stupid, sabotaging way of trying to cope with just how much she cares. ]
no subject
... It's not going to get easier and we can't shut off our hearts in a snap.
[ Vash isn't going to sugarcoat it. It can only get worse from here as the body count increases. ]
You can do what you want to protect yourself, but Wolfwood and I will be beside you for as long as we can. I'll just hope that you don't regret loving Shenhe and letting others in... And whenever you are ready, we can meet you halfway again.
[ Because he knows that everyone needs time to lament, to mourn, and to heal. A promise to try to be there for when she's ready is all he can offer. ]
no subject
It's just hard, Vash.
[ the crying has slowed considerably, and she lowers her hands from her face. and she leans against him, so now he's stuck here. ]
I was alone for so long, I didn't know that it'd feel like this. [ sniffle. ] I don't want you or Wolfwood to go either. I don't even know what halfway is.
[ it feels like all or nothing. here one day, gone the next. ]
no subject
I know it's hard. [ Loss. Familiar, yet it makes itself new again. ] Halfway can be just trying, like Shenhe did.
[ All he asks is that she doesn't forsake love, for it is never a mistake to love. No one is foolish for it... And he hopes that she can swing back, be herself. ]