HOMOPHONIC 🌺 YLFA SNORGELSSON

[piteous]

MEms

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[piteous]

... Hearing this from a furry kid who has a middle-aged frog friend is a lot to digest.

[honkinbigteeth]

I definitely never claimed not to be weird myself.

[piteous]

... You're so in tune with yourself. How do you do that? Can you adopt me?

[ What the hell??? ]

You're right that we're a band of freaks. They're good guys, though.

[honkinbigteeth]

[this actually gets her to blush a little; it's a compliment she can accept.]

Well. That's kind of more of a recent thing. I haven't always been so okay with all of [gesturing at herself.] this.

But meeting other people who are weird but still good helps a lot. Like my middle aged frog friend.

[piteous]

[ There's soft laughter as he thinks about this more seriously. ]

Hyping up your friend, huh? Now I have to meet him. [ ... ] What's your story, anyway?

[honkinbigteeth]

Oh, he hypes himself up well enough on his own.

[he does not. he keeps putting himself on blast.]

...I didn't know you knew. Little Red Riding Hood. What's yours?

[piteous]

Self-confidence is an attractive trait.

[ it could save marriage, but uh— ]

... Knew... About what? [ Oh. It's a kind of familiar story. ] It was a figure of speech?!

[honkinbigteeth]

...Oops. Maybe not. I don't want to bring up any existentially horrifying concepts or anything.

[piteous]

I'm kind of a walking death wish, so I don't think anything could really scare me, but... That sounds like some deep stuff for a kid your age to deal with?

[ Existentially horrifying concepts is HELLA LOADED. ]

You all right?

[honkinbigteeth]

[oh she nods.]

...You'd be surprised. But it's okay, I've had a little time to sit with it. Besides, my story is about things that have already happened to me, which makes it a little easier.

[piteous]

[ honestly, he wishes he was actually surprised. He also wishes less bad stuff happened to kids, but... It is what it is. ]

I'm curious, but... I'm not going to force you to tell me if you're not up for it. Horrifying concepts is something to talk over ice cream, which we're deprived of.

[honkinbigteeth]

Oh. That's nice of you. I haven't ever had ice cream before, so I am pretty curious to try it, once they get that machine fixed.

[her ears twitch a little.]

It's okay...just, you know. It does a number on a girl's self-esteem to realize her story usually turns out a lot differently. But I don't even think I want that, really.

[piteous]

We could always get a cinnamon roll? Those are good! Warms the stomach and the heart.

[ It isn't the same, but sugary comforts. ]

If I remember correctly, little red riding hood and her grandmother live happily ever after thanks to the huntsman? That's... Not something you want?

[honkinbigteeth]

I wouldn't say no to a cinnamon roll.

[anyway, she laughs a little at that, uncomfortable.]

In most versions, that seems to be the case. Or at least if we die, we both die, and I stick with granny either way. It's not that I don't want that, but...

It's complicated. That version of Little Red Riding Hood couldn't do the things I can do. I'm not sure she does anything at all. It's a story about how you might get devoured if you disobey your parents, but you might get lucky and the woodsman shows up. I don't think I can be okay with that anymore.

[piteous]

Let's get ourselves a cinnamon roll!

[ To Ikea. Throu...gh... IKEA. They can have the cinnamon at the end of this trek. ]

Learning to defy authority figures, huh. [ Hmm. ] Life is a series of complex problems and you have to make a choice—that's kind of hard to do if you're the girl who doesn't do anything and waits...

[ Breaks rolls. ]

Here's to a new story where you're doing all the things, teaching people the lesson you want to teach.

[honkinbigteeth]

[that about sums it up, yes.

she'll clink her half of the roll.]

I'll cheers to that.