They're reasonable people and I think you can, if you meet them halfway.
[ But he isn't going to force her. ]
Gerard did kill Shenhe. He didn't try to lie or deny it and explained why he chose her, how it went. I don't know if you're interested to hear his story... But that is the answer.
I know he did. Fei Du wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't have gotten it wrong.
[ this is a wound that can't seem to heal. she keeps picking at it. she thought maybe, after today, it'd start to close, but now she isn't too sure.
she has to take in a breath to remind herself - breathe - to not gnash her teeth together. ]
She's still gone, Vash. I don't care what his reason was.
[ it hurts. it hurts so much. and she can't help but feel defensive again, on edge because she thinks vash is going to try and calm her down by explaining that no, murdering their teammate was fine, actually, because he had a good reason for it - it's unfair for her to project that onto him, but the hurt flares up fast and overcomes her better sense of reason. ]
The ultimate reason is what we already know. I don't know if you've seen the messages from those Thursday trips, but it's that, and I'll show them to you if you haven't seen them. Most of the deaths we've seen is because of the game as it is—I'd like to think so.
[ Vash isn't here to defend Gerard specifically, but it's a gentle reminder that they're in a situation outside of their control. Everyone is and not all of the blame can be put on each person who took a life. It doesn't mean they can't hurt. It hurts worse, really. ]
I won't tell you if you don't want to know other details, but... I ask that you don't do anything rash.
[ He's still grieving Shenhe, too, but he grieves for every person who has passed. ]
[ her mind is going a mile a minute, whipping up conclusions to things that didn't really happen, all spurred on by her blazing emotions. funny how she had kept this information to herself, fearing what could happen, when it turns out she's the one making things worse. again. she always screws up, she always--
she takes another deep breath. this doesn't really help quell her feelings. the glare she levels at him is cold, and angry, and when she speaks again, each word is stiff like it should be followed by a period - but she has to keep her sentence going. ]
Why would you think I want to hear about her dying?
[ Firm, stern, but not quite scolding. It's meant to be a wall to the cold and the angry in hopes that she can cool down. Vash may be soft and loving, patient and kind, but he can also dig his heels.
Maybe she needs that now, rather than comfort. ]
Truth is a luxury for some people and that's why I was offering. I'm not trying to hurt you. [ It's reassurance. ] A "no" is a perfectly fine answer.
[ he has no way of know that's what wolfwood said to her earlier. he has no way of knowing how 'no' was not a perfectly fine answer for her to give, that such a straightforward refusal was a privilege she was not allowed before. she's guarded about a lot of things, for a long of reasons, so she can't really be mad at him for not knowing. but she still feels boxed in, cornered, like she's wrong for feeling this way why is she the only one who feels like this. Is she going crazy? Has she really lost her mind? Why is this the thing she's getting so much push back for?
she wants to yell at him, but she doesn't. ]
There is nothing you can say that is going to make me feel better about it. There is nothing you can do that is going to make me feel better about it. Gerard is dead anyway, and it still doesn't make me feel any better about it. I just want her back. I saw the texts! Netzach showed me! I know about the stupid points! That doesn't change the fact that no one on that team even pretended that they were doing it for- what? A noble cause? Is that what you think? You think I'm going to be okay with our teammate dying, the killer getting away with it, and then they go on and kill another one of my friends so they could get away with it again? Let's just all kill innocent teams like last week then, Vash! Then we'll win! Then it won't be a problem anymore! Or should we just give up and let Froggystyle kill everyone I care about because they have good reasons for it and I'm going to hurt their fucking feelings again?
[ He never said it was okay, that any of it is, but in the grand scheme of things they are just pawns on a gameboard forced into these altercations and situations that stir tragedy like this... As she keeps talking, his countenance falls, apologetic and morose.
In the end, he just doesn't have it in his heart to let pain fester into anger. He's only capable of sorrow, dark, deep, and vast. That is something he will keep to himself, especially because Nahri is letting all of her feelings out. ]
I know there's nothing I can say or do, and that staying by your side will never be enough.
[ He's an optimist, an idealist, but he isn't blind to reality. There's a sigh. ]
If you're planning to act, I want you to go with a clear head. [ ... ] And to rely on us, if there's anything we can do.
[ realistically, she knows. froggystyle is playing the game. everyone here is. she said it last night - she does not believe gerard had done it to be cruel. but the more she gets boxed in with her feelings, how she's supposed to feel, what she's supposed to say, like there's only one right answer... she can't help but bash herself against those barriers and lash out. ]
I'm not. That's what everyone is going to expect of me, isn't it? That I'm going to do something to them because I was angry that they might get away. They didn't this time. There's nothing more that can be done.
But if you think so lowly of me just-- leave me alone, Vash!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
W4 : SUNDAY
Did you end up talking to anyone in Froggystyle? [ ... ] I did talk to Gerard yesterday.
no subject
...I don't think any of them would want to talk to me, so I didn't try.
no subject
[ But he isn't going to force her. ]
Gerard did kill Shenhe. He didn't try to lie or deny it and explained why he chose her, how it went. I don't know if you're interested to hear his story... But that is the answer.
no subject
[ this is a wound that can't seem to heal. she keeps picking at it. she thought maybe, after today, it'd start to close, but now she isn't too sure.
she has to take in a breath to remind herself - breathe - to not gnash her teeth together. ]
She's still gone, Vash. I don't care what his reason was.
[ it hurts. it hurts so much. and she can't help but feel defensive again, on edge because she thinks vash is going to try and calm her down by explaining that no, murdering their teammate was fine, actually, because he had a good reason for it - it's unfair for her to project that onto him, but the hurt flares up fast and overcomes her better sense of reason. ]
no subject
[ Vash isn't here to defend Gerard specifically, but it's a gentle reminder that they're in a situation outside of their control. Everyone is and not all of the blame can be put on each person who took a life. It doesn't mean they can't hurt. It hurts worse, really. ]
I won't tell you if you don't want to know other details, but... I ask that you don't do anything rash.
[ He's still grieving Shenhe, too, but he grieves for every person who has passed. ]
no subject
she takes another deep breath. this doesn't really help quell her feelings. the glare she levels at him is cold, and angry, and when she speaks again, each word is stiff like it should be followed by a period - but she has to keep her sentence going. ]
Why would you think I want to hear about her dying?
[ bro. ]
no subject
[ Firm, stern, but not quite scolding. It's meant to be a wall to the cold and the angry in hopes that she can cool down. Vash may be soft and loving, patient and kind, but he can also dig his heels.
Maybe she needs that now, rather than comfort. ]
Truth is a luxury for some people and that's why I was offering. I'm not trying to hurt you. [ It's reassurance. ] A "no" is a perfectly fine answer.
no subject
she wants to yell at him, but she doesn't. ]
There is nothing you can say that is going to make me feel better about it. There is nothing you can do that is going to make me feel better about it. Gerard is dead anyway, and it still doesn't make me feel any better about it. I just want her back. I saw the texts! Netzach showed me! I know about the stupid points! That doesn't change the fact that no one on that team even pretended that they were doing it for- what? A noble cause? Is that what you think? You think I'm going to be okay with our teammate dying, the killer getting away with it, and then they go on and kill another one of my friends so they could get away with it again? Let's just all kill innocent teams like last week then, Vash! Then we'll win! Then it won't be a problem anymore! Or should we just give up and let Froggystyle kill everyone I care about because they have good reasons for it and I'm going to hurt their fucking feelings again?
[ she doesn't yell at him.
but she is pissed. ]
no subject
In the end, he just doesn't have it in his heart to let pain fester into anger. He's only capable of sorrow, dark, deep, and vast. That is something he will keep to himself, especially because Nahri is letting all of her feelings out. ]
I know there's nothing I can say or do, and that staying by your side will never be enough.
[ He's an optimist, an idealist, but he isn't blind to reality. There's a sigh. ]
If you're planning to act, I want you to go with a clear head. [ ... ] And to rely on us, if there's anything we can do.
no subject
I'm not. That's what everyone is going to expect of me, isn't it? That I'm going to do something to them because I was angry that they might get away. They didn't this time. There's nothing more that can be done.
But if you think so lowly of me just-- leave me alone, Vash!
[ and she storms off. bye. ]