[It's not that Kaveh doesn't agree. If there's one thing he'll grant himself, it's that he's dedicated his life to pursuing his dreams; if he didn't take pride in that, he would have no standing with which to tell his clients that he's the right choice for them. And beyond that, even though he grapples with the meaning of art and doubts himself on occasion, he typically feels proud of putting more beauty into the world.
But it doesn't feel like enough, right now. So he's quiet, and focuses on the rest--which... well.]
...It doesn't feel like it.
[It also doesn't feel like enough. He has no way of protecting anyone when they're truly in danger. He has no information of use, and no way of getting access to the people who might be able to change all of this.]
Sometimes, it feels like that. Like it's never enough.
[ Sometimes your best will amount to nothing. Vash has seen enough of that, experienced it enough. No matter the amount of good deeds, it's about the mistakes and loss. It's dangerous thinking, one he wishes upon no one except himself.
Because Vash thinks of himself as different. He isn't mortal, after all. ]
You're just one person... [ To emphasize that there's only so much Kaveh can do as one single person. ] But you've made some people's day, I'm sure. Someone here has enjoyed your company and sometimes that's enough.
[ At least, if anything, that means the world to Vash who has always been alone, stricken with loneliness. ]
[Kaveh's quiet for a moment; then, he squeezes the hand that's still holding his own, more for his own selfish comfort than to offer reassurance to Vash.]
I hope you're right. [He'll concede that, because he must. There is nothing he can do to intervene during the night. And Kaveh internalizes so, so much guilt over things beyond his control, but he is, at the very least, capable of understanding this much. Until he or someone else figures out some other avenue, all he can do is be there for as many people as possible.]
Sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry about me. [Even though it's clear as day that Vash was deflecting, but Kaveh will let him have that for now.] But thank you, Vash. You're kind.
[It wouldn't be difficult to say regardless, but especially not now. He thinks of Buzen--of the awful note he'd left things on, so foolishly assuming he'd have time. He doesn't want to make that mistake again.]
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But it doesn't feel like enough, right now. So he's quiet, and focuses on the rest--which... well.]
...It doesn't feel like it.
[It also doesn't feel like enough. He has no way of protecting anyone when they're truly in danger. He has no information of use, and no way of getting access to the people who might be able to change all of this.]
no subject
[ Sometimes your best will amount to nothing. Vash has seen enough of that, experienced it enough. No matter the amount of good deeds, it's about the mistakes and loss. It's dangerous thinking, one he wishes upon no one except himself.
Because Vash thinks of himself as different. He isn't mortal, after all. ]
You're just one person... [ To emphasize that there's only so much Kaveh can do as one single person. ] But you've made some people's day, I'm sure. Someone here has enjoyed your company and sometimes that's enough.
[ At least, if anything, that means the world to Vash who has always been alone, stricken with loneliness. ]
no subject
I hope you're right. [He'll concede that, because he must. There is nothing he can do to intervene during the night. And Kaveh internalizes so, so much guilt over things beyond his control, but he is, at the very least, capable of understanding this much. Until he or someone else figures out some other avenue, all he can do is be there for as many people as possible.]
Sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry about me. [Even though it's clear as day that Vash was deflecting, but Kaveh will let him have that for now.] But thank you, Vash. You're kind.
[It wouldn't be difficult to say regardless, but especially not now. He thinks of Buzen--of the awful note he'd left things on, so foolishly assuming he'd have time. He doesn't want to make that mistake again.]