[HE'S A BOTTLE BLOND "he's not human" A BOTTLE BLOND.
Something twists in Kaveh's chest when Vash says that. Something about his tone, about the look on his face--it reminds him of what Vash said last week. Am I still a good person if I want to hide what I've done?
He has no way of knowing what Vash meant. Not without asking, which he certainly isn't going to do. But his mind can't help drawing conclusions with the evidence he has, and his heart aches at the picture he's seeing.
But Vash had said he didn't want Kaveh to know. And besides that, his memories are personal; things that Kaveh shouldn't have seen in the first place. So he pulls back a little, though he keeps his hands loosely on Vash's arms.]
You didn't do anything! [ Truthfully. ] I just... Don't think it's something you'd like to hear.
[ So it would seem that this specifically is not what Vash has been trying to hide, but he believes in protecting people's merriment and mood. The memory is already such a downer and it haunts him in different ways, still deep and lingering... But it's the type of haunted he can handle. Sometimes you mourn people who are gone every single day and it's normalized. ]
[Thinks about my thread with Lowe and gazes into the Trigun abyss.
Anyway, Kaveh shakes his head.]
You don't have to worry about something like that. [Not in the least because he feels like his own traumas are so insignificant in comparison. But also--] I'll always listen to anything you want to tell me.
[Even if it's depressing or horrific. He'd promised he wouldn't be afraid, after all. And it's not like he doesn't understand the multitude of reasons Vash wouldn't want to get into it, but he doesn't want "making Kaveh uncomfortable" to be one of them.]
[ Focusing on someone else's hurts really makes it easier to deal with your own, doesn't it. They're here trying to fight each other emotionally. ]
Uhm... That memory is very significant for you, Kaveh. I don't know if I can't worry, but I can tell you more about my brother. I say he's handled because he probably died with me.
[ At least, that's what Vash thinks? He isn't sure. ]
Even if he's alive, his hair is black, which should mean he's out of energy.
[IT REALLY IS EMOTIONAL FISTICUFFS both of them just this
ALSO OF ALL THE WILD THINGS I EXPECTED FROM TRIGUN IT WAS NOT HAIR LORE. HELP.]
...It is. [He'll concede that much.] It's just--I'm not sure what I'd say about it. That was over twenty years ago.
[Which may seem like the blink of an eye for people who live for centuries, but to him, it's an old wound. It's a memory he dwells on so often that he thinks he's picked it apart from every possible angle.
But he hums softly, mulling that over. He doesn't yet know that they're going to have to revisit this conversation. That is perhaps a Thursday PC sort of conversation, unless you are on a CYOA, which I suspect you are. :beegun:]
So if you make it back from here, and you find out he's alive... you don't think he'll be a threat?
... I hope you don't blame yourself, Kaveh. So much of life is out of our control.
[ It's advice that he wished he could take himself, honestly, but circumstances and other stuff stops him. In the end, Vash at least believes this wholeheartedly. Sometimes... Events happen and there's nothing they could have done to stop them.
HeHEHE. CYOA. ]
Without energy, he's as dangerous as any other guy without abilities. It's... Easier.
But... mm. Kaveh looks away, because he knows people don't like to hear these things--but. Well. It's Vash, so he'll be honest.]
It is, but... ultimately, it was my fault. Other factors contributed to his death, but the fundamental cause was still me.
[There's simply no way around that, as far as he's concerned. If he hadn't pushed his father to participate in the Championship, his father would still be alive. It's as simple as that.
He's quiet for a moment, then, taking in the rest of what Vash says. He still doesn't like to hear it, really; "easier" could mean a lot of things, but it can't possibly be easier on Vash's heart, he knows. Kaveh can't even begin to imagine how complicated his emotions must be about all of this.]
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Something twists in Kaveh's chest when Vash says that. Something about his tone, about the look on his face--it reminds him of what Vash said last week. Am I still a good person if I want to hide what I've done?
He has no way of knowing what Vash meant. Not without asking, which he certainly isn't going to do. But his mind can't help drawing conclusions with the evidence he has, and his heart aches at the picture he's seeing.
But Vash had said he didn't want Kaveh to know. And besides that, his memories are personal; things that Kaveh shouldn't have seen in the first place. So he pulls back a little, though he keeps his hands loosely on Vash's arms.]
Okay. [Softly.] I'm sorry. I won't ask anymore.
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[ So it would seem that this specifically is not what Vash has been trying to hide, but he believes in protecting people's merriment and mood. The memory is already such a downer and it haunts him in different ways, still deep and lingering... But it's the type of haunted he can handle. Sometimes you mourn people who are gone every single day and it's normalized. ]
Especially after...
[ You know. Kaveh's memory. ]
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Anyway, Kaveh shakes his head.]
You don't have to worry about something like that. [Not in the least because he feels like his own traumas are so insignificant in comparison. But also--] I'll always listen to anything you want to tell me.
[Even if it's depressing or horrific. He'd promised he wouldn't be afraid, after all. And it's not like he doesn't understand the multitude of reasons Vash wouldn't want to get into it, but he doesn't want "making Kaveh uncomfortable" to be one of them.]
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Uhm... That memory is very significant for you, Kaveh. I don't know if I can't worry, but I can tell you more about my brother. I say he's handled because he probably died with me.
[ At least, that's what Vash thinks? He isn't sure. ]
Even if he's alive, his hair is black, which should mean he's out of energy.
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ALSO OF ALL THE WILD THINGS I EXPECTED FROM TRIGUN IT WAS NOT HAIR LORE. HELP.]
...It is. [He'll concede that much.] It's just--I'm not sure what I'd say about it. That was over twenty years ago.
[Which may seem like the blink of an eye for people who live for centuries, but to him, it's an old wound. It's a memory he dwells on so often that he thinks he's picked it apart from every possible angle.
But he hums softly, mulling that over. He doesn't yet know that they're going to have to revisit this conversation. That is perhaps a Thursday PC sort of conversation, unless you are on a CYOA, which I suspect you are. :beegun:]
So if you make it back from here, and you find out he's alive... you don't think he'll be a threat?
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[ It's advice that he wished he could take himself, honestly, but circumstances and other stuff stops him. In the end, Vash at least believes this wholeheartedly. Sometimes... Events happen and there's nothing they could have done to stop them.
HeHEHE. CYOA. ]
Without energy, he's as dangerous as any other guy without abilities. It's... Easier.
no subject
But... mm. Kaveh looks away, because he knows people don't like to hear these things--but. Well. It's Vash, so he'll be honest.]
It is, but... ultimately, it was my fault. Other factors contributed to his death, but the fundamental cause was still me.
[There's simply no way around that, as far as he's concerned. If he hadn't pushed his father to participate in the Championship, his father would still be alive. It's as simple as that.
He's quiet for a moment, then, taking in the rest of what Vash says. He still doesn't like to hear it, really; "easier" could mean a lot of things, but it can't possibly be easier on Vash's heart, he knows. Kaveh can't even begin to imagine how complicated his emotions must be about all of this.]
Could he regain that energy?