[ me here because i am not doing anything important ]
Your face is red.
[ That is enough of an answer for Vash, honestly. As someone who had loved Wolfwood before this place, feelings longstanding despite those same feelings were unknown to him at the beginning because he's a complete idiot... All he can feel is relief and gratitude that one of his favorite persons is appreciated and loved, too? Wolfwood has always saw himself distant from such affairs. Always casting a blind eye to how much others care for him. How important he is. How he would haunt them past his time.
Of course it's difficult for Vash not to feel insecure in his own way. He doesn't compare himself to Kaveh, but he simply thinks everyone is a better choice than himself... For who could be worse than a monster? He wants Wolfwood to be happy. Wants to be there and see it before his own time comes. That would have been enough for him.
But they've already made choices, promises, and while Vash isn't sure how well he will kill them (being old makes you semi-incorrigible), he doesn't let those insecurities take him. ]
Anyway, I hope he knows. [ There's a knowing smile with the next set of words. ] Time is nebulous, but it can be short.
[Unfortunately it is THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD right now for Vash to be such a sweet and loving person, because Kaveh kind of wants to shrivel up and die, but he also feels stupid for it because he knows, in the grand scheme of things, that this isn't as big of a deal as it seems. It's not like he's ever going to see them again after this, and they have so many other big things to worry about. Part of the reason Kaveh's kept this so close to his chest is because of everything they've gone through, week after week--even if things were much simpler, there's a good chance Kaveh still wouldn't say a word.
But things also, y'know. Weren't simpler. So it doesn't matter anyway.
His shoulders curl a little, and he's still focused on his coffee cup, cursing this place and its horrible effects in his head--but he'll at least look at Vash again at his words.]
I wouldn't do that to you. [Before anything else--it seems very important to him to stress that. It's not that he thinks Wolfwood would've responded favorably anyway, but that doesn't matter either; he cares about Vash just as much. He can't stand the thought of Vash thinking he'd betray his trust.
...Though, if they're talking about it anyway--] ...There was no time, anyway. First I thought you two were together from the start, and I only found out you weren't because of Shenhe, and then there was Kyoko...
[TRULY ANOTHER FACTOR IS JUST WOLFWOOD'S INSANE MESS OF A HAREM.]
... Shenhe and Wolfwood aren't real, unfortunately.
[ Saying unfortunately is a bad habit. Don't worry about it. He's WORKING on it. There's no comment on Kyoko because it is a little weird to face the fact that Wolfwood rejected her because he became soulmate engaged to him. It was a very weird thing to think about overall because Vash is terribly allergic. Thinking too deeply about romance involving himself makes him want to flee.
Overall, he seems emotionally weary. He would never consider someone being sincere about their feelings because they want to get it off their chest as a betrayal. If Wolfwood, however, accepted or something, then I guess? Granted Vash would also be "understandable, I'm garbage."
There's a shrug! ]
Either way! Good to tell people that they're important.
Don't say unfortunately... [HE'LL WORRY ABOUT IT!!! Though he's also saying that because he knew that, and because he's happy for Shenhe and Nahri. But also x2 WHY ARE YOU BOTH ALLERGIC. EXHAUSTING.
But... well. Yet another reason Kaveh never said anything is because he, similarly, doesn't believe he deserves love. It is, perhaps, part of the reason he's so resistant to Vash's insistence on Alhaitham's feelings; Kaveh already tears himself up over the way he destroyed their relationship, and he's terrified of doing the same to what they have now. If Kaveh deserves anything at all, it's guilt and suffering. Nearly two months of assisting murderers, even well-intentioned ones, certainly did nothing to dissuade him of this belief.
He doesn't think any of that matters with this, though, because he can't imagine Wolfwood being interested in him anyway. There was just a laundry list of reasons he never said or did anything.]
...I did tell him I cared, though. [Just not about the dokis.] He didn't understand why I was willing to help you all.
[Though hilariously that was probably partly because Kaveh seemed like he was ready to march off to NML and try to suckerpunch Knives but y'know. The point stands.]
[ VASH IS DOING HIS BEST. HE HAS MADE HIS CHOICE... And he is working towards building his self-worth at least on that front.
The murders here are a different flavor, so he can't fault the many who raised a blade likewise others who turned a blind eye. They really are just shouldering different levels of guilts. Someone please help.
Unfortunately, Kaveh painted a different picture of how he feels about Alhaitham and their separation. Vash never thought to press too much since Kaveh always seemed confident on anything related to Alhaitham. ]
People don't really do things for free in No Man's Land, so I wouldn't take his comment too personally. [ They're guarded people for reasons. ] If that's the case! I'm glad he knows.
[ Vash isn't going to push for Kaveh to confess unless he wants to, but sometimes it's just good to get things off your chest. ]
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no subject
Your face is red.
[ That is enough of an answer for Vash, honestly. As someone who had loved Wolfwood before this place, feelings longstanding despite those same feelings were unknown to him at the beginning because he's a complete idiot... All he can feel is relief and gratitude that one of his favorite persons is appreciated and loved, too? Wolfwood has always saw himself distant from such affairs. Always casting a blind eye to how much others care for him. How important he is. How he would haunt them past his time.
Of course it's difficult for Vash not to feel insecure in his own way. He doesn't compare himself to Kaveh, but he simply thinks everyone is a better choice than himself... For who could be worse than a monster? He wants Wolfwood to be happy. Wants to be there and see it before his own time comes. That would have been enough for him.
But they've already made choices, promises, and while Vash isn't sure how well he will kill them (being old makes you semi-incorrigible), he doesn't let those insecurities take him. ]
Anyway, I hope he knows. [ There's a knowing smile with the next set of words. ] Time is nebulous, but it can be short.
no subject
But things also, y'know. Weren't simpler. So it doesn't matter anyway.
His shoulders curl a little, and he's still focused on his coffee cup, cursing this place and its horrible effects in his head--but he'll at least look at Vash again at his words.]
I wouldn't do that to you. [Before anything else--it seems very important to him to stress that. It's not that he thinks Wolfwood would've responded favorably anyway, but that doesn't matter either; he cares about Vash just as much. He can't stand the thought of Vash thinking he'd betray his trust.
...Though, if they're talking about it anyway--] ...There was no time, anyway. First I thought you two were together from the start, and I only found out you weren't because of Shenhe, and then there was Kyoko...
[TRULY ANOTHER FACTOR IS JUST WOLFWOOD'S INSANE MESS OF A HAREM.]
no subject
[ Saying unfortunately is a bad habit. Don't worry about it. He's WORKING on it. There's no comment on Kyoko because it is a little weird to face the fact that Wolfwood rejected her because he became soulmate engaged to him. It was a very weird thing to think about overall because Vash is terribly allergic. Thinking too deeply about romance involving himself makes him want to flee.
Overall, he seems emotionally weary. He would never consider someone being sincere about their feelings because they want to get it off their chest as a betrayal. If Wolfwood, however, accepted or something, then I guess? Granted Vash would also be "understandable, I'm garbage."
There's a shrug! ]
Either way! Good to tell people that they're important.
[ Gen important, not romantic important. ]
no subject
But... well. Yet another reason Kaveh never said anything is because he, similarly, doesn't believe he deserves love. It is, perhaps, part of the reason he's so resistant to Vash's insistence on Alhaitham's feelings; Kaveh already tears himself up over the way he destroyed their relationship, and he's terrified of doing the same to what they have now. If Kaveh deserves anything at all, it's guilt and suffering. Nearly two months of assisting murderers, even well-intentioned ones, certainly did nothing to dissuade him of this belief.
He doesn't think any of that matters with this, though, because he can't imagine Wolfwood being interested in him anyway. There was just a laundry list of reasons he never said or did anything.]
...I did tell him I cared, though. [Just not about the dokis.] He didn't understand why I was willing to help you all.
[Though hilariously that was probably partly because Kaveh seemed like he was ready to march off to NML and try to suckerpunch Knives but y'know. The point stands.]
no subject
The murders here are a different flavor, so he can't fault the many who raised a blade likewise others who turned a blind eye. They really are just shouldering different levels of guilts. Someone please help.
Unfortunately, Kaveh painted a different picture of how he feels about Alhaitham and their separation. Vash never thought to press too much since Kaveh always seemed confident on anything related to Alhaitham. ]
People don't really do things for free in No Man's Land, so I wouldn't take his comment too personally. [ They're guarded people for reasons. ] If that's the case! I'm glad he knows.
[ Vash isn't going to push for Kaveh to confess unless he wants to, but sometimes it's just good to get things off your chest. ]